The count down has begun for Ashley leaving for Maui and we are under the 30 day mark and my heart keeps asking…..WHERE has the time gone?? Wasn’t it just yesterday that this sweet girl was born into our lives and forever changed them?? Wasn’t it yesterday when she started kindergarten, or learned how to ride her bike without training wheels??? Wasn’t it just yesterday……….sigh……the reality is…it was many, many…yesterdays ago.
I keep asking myself, when did we go from ruffled dresses, with ribbons and bows, to a beautiful young woman who is all too eager to spread her wings and fly on her own???
Why on one hand is my heart saying,
“Go Ash…you’re ready to spread your wing! Don’t be afraid, we’ve given you Godly tools to help you on your journey. Go ahead, fly away!!”
And then, on the other hand my heart says,
“Don’t go Ash….there is still so much for you to learn. Stay with us! Let us continue to help you on this journey, as we know from experience all to well that more times than not the road is rough, the journey is hard, and you will face many…..many heartaches.”
Then my heart whispers to me in that still small voice that *everything will be ok!* It’s ok to let her go, while I still want to hold her close! And, it’s ok for me to be excited about her new adventure; all the while my heart feels heavy! And, it’s ok to miss her like crazy even before she’s gone!!
Even though my heart is dreading the day she leaves, I’m purposing to focus on the fun times we are having the final weeks she’s here. Doing things like:
*enjoying countless 10:00pm drives to Dairy Queen in our PJ’s. Listening to the banter from the back seat as the kid’s laugh, joke, and I find myself laughing so hard till the tears come.
*the late night *pillow talks* we seem to have with Ashley nightly; as she asks us if we know how much she loves us?
*late night movies with popcorn even though we all fall asleep and never finish the movie
*cuddling’ on my favorite chair on the weekends and watching the kid’s fight over which one get’s to sit with me. (They both usually end up sitting with me)
*preparing all of Ashley’s *favorite* foods before she leaves and her options will be beans and rice.
I keep asking myself, when did we go from ruffled dresses, with ribbons and bows, to a beautiful young woman who is all too eager to spread her wings and fly on her own???
Why on one hand is my heart saying,
“Go Ash…you’re ready to spread your wing! Don’t be afraid, we’ve given you Godly tools to help you on your journey. Go ahead, fly away!!”
And then, on the other hand my heart says,
“Don’t go Ash….there is still so much for you to learn. Stay with us! Let us continue to help you on this journey, as we know from experience all to well that more times than not the road is rough, the journey is hard, and you will face many…..many heartaches.”
Then my heart whispers to me in that still small voice that *everything will be ok!* It’s ok to let her go, while I still want to hold her close! And, it’s ok for me to be excited about her new adventure; all the while my heart feels heavy! And, it’s ok to miss her like crazy even before she’s gone!!
Even though my heart is dreading the day she leaves, I’m purposing to focus on the fun times we are having the final weeks she’s here. Doing things like:
*enjoying countless 10:00pm drives to Dairy Queen in our PJ’s. Listening to the banter from the back seat as the kid’s laugh, joke, and I find myself laughing so hard till the tears come.
*the late night *pillow talks* we seem to have with Ashley nightly; as she asks us if we know how much she loves us?
*late night movies with popcorn even though we all fall asleep and never finish the movie
*cuddling’ on my favorite chair on the weekends and watching the kid’s fight over which one get’s to sit with me. (They both usually end up sitting with me)
*preparing all of Ashley’s *favorite* foods before she leaves and her options will be beans and rice.
*watching Ashley and Andrew chase each other around the house, wrestling, laughin' and enjoying the bond that they share.
Nothing is ever constant, and that is why God takes our hearts through seasons! I’m just thankful that we have a Savior, who will walk with us, each step of the way. We may not physically be in the same place, but I'm comforted in knowing that my precious Jesus will be with my sweet precious Ash...wherever she may go……
Kim, I so understand were you come from. As I have been through this 2 x's already and my kids are close to home.
ReplyDeleteThe biggest thrill for me came the day I watched my son hold his son for the first time.
Enjoy this ride my friend as the best is yet to come.
My heart aches for you from a mother's point of view. I know this day will come for us some day too. You sound so positive and encouraging.
ReplyDeleteKim, your daughter is beautiful. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Thanks for your comment today. I am so glad we have found each others blog!
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you.
I just can't imagine. I am so dreading the day when my babies leave home. My oldest is 15, and I am trying so hard to talk her into going to college in our hometown. It seems to be working at this point. Prayers for you all as you adjust to this new phase of life.
ReplyDeleteKim, I am now swallowing the lump in my throat at your Ashley leaving, too. I know it is coming my way all too soon as well.
ReplyDeleteWhat a fabulous perspective you have. May God richly bless you as you make the transition.
Oh Kim,
ReplyDeleteI know exactly how you feel...well maybe not- I sent off my son and I guess it might be a bit harder to send off a daughter as I think about the relationship I have with my daughter.
But either way- it is hard!
God is with her and she is obviously seeking after him with this move.
If she ever wants a penpal in Italy- let me know- that's where my son will be stationed. Oh who am I kidding- they will more likely connect on myspace!
Sue
PS I just found a comment you left me that never was posted- not sure why- but I posted it!
Oh dearest Kim! I am truly excited for you your daughter to start her journey! She is truly a solider of God's Army! Off to do his work! Bless her and her dear sweet mama! Love you!
ReplyDeleteOh Kim, I can't quite truly imagine what you are going through. I am a few years off from that point in my life, but I have to be honest and say I'm not looking forward to it!!
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine all of the emotions that are running through your head - but just know that you've taught Ashley well and she's got a great head on her shoulders!
ReplyDeleteI'm just beaming with pride for you and your family! God bless her on her journey!