The School of Waiting

I'm excited about the book, Hinds Feet on High Places, and the journey I believed God will be taking me on as I read through this book. I'm a firm believer that God orders my steps, and I'm ALWAYS amazed at how God leads and guides me. I believe God's desire is that I'm open...and LOOKING....so that I can see where he wants me to move.

Right now, I'm in the *school of waiting*...so to speak. What is the school of waiting you ask??? Well, for me, it is the place where I'm needing to rest 100% in God.....and well...just WAIT!!! You see, I'm needing God's direction.....his perfect plan....his perfect will. And in order for me to understand his perfect will, at this time in my life, I'm in school. Psalms 62:5 says: "Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him." (NLT) Waiting quietly for me means, just like in school, I'm doing homework....studying God's word, reading helpful books, sharing my heart with others....asking a lot of questions.....I'm listening...I'm taking tests.........I'm going through things in the depth of my soul....that only God can fully understand......the tests are frequent....and often HARD....often time's making me feel as though I'm ALL alone.....but as I pass each test...God moves me to a new level.....a deeper understanding of him....and his awesomeness.

I'm learning that out of the ashes of my life, God is creating GREAT beauty in my life. God is showing me that if he leads me too it...he will lead me through it. God has, and continues to lead me through many HARD things....yet, God is with me each step of the way...gently leading, guiding, and directing my every step.

Why is the school of waiting so hard???? I believe that often the school of waiting is hard because it's while I'm in the school of waiting.....God is wanting to reveal my TRUE heart....so that I can see the sinfulness that I hold within. Though the school of waiting be hard, God is doing a new thing.....helping me see what is TRULY important.....learning to rest in him....waiting for his direction in the steps I must take. I'm waiting, because through my waiting.....I can do nothing. By nature I'm not a patient person....and God is teaching me that this chapter in my life..is on HIS terms...NOT mine. God is teaching me that he will and can use me...regardless of what those around me may say. God is NO respector of persons, or denominations!! God is a sovereign God....who is simply looking for a willing vessel.

Why is the school of waiting so long??? I've been asking this questions for close to 10 years; but God has finally given me a glimpse into his heart as to why wait. You see...often the things I find myself desiring are just that.....MY DESIRES...when God is wanting to get at my heart issues....so that I desire the things my heavenly father desires. I'm also learning that often....other situations have to be changed.....other roads have to be opened/closed...other bridges have to be built/torn down.....in order for God's perfect will to unfold. Often the school of waiting isn't always because of me, and where I'm at; but I believe often we wait...because God is moving behind the scenes...in the lives of others.......and as the timing all comes together....I'll move out of the school of waiting, into the new direction I know God has for me, and is preparing my heart for.

God's given me promises...yet at times...it seems as though God isn't/hasn't come through. Yet, as I read Hinds Feet on High Places today.....these words jumped off the page at me:

"Much-Afraid, do you love me enough to accept the postponement and the apparent contradiction of the promise, ,and to go down there with me into the dessert? She was still crouching at his feet, sobbing as if her heart would break, but now she looked up through her tears, caught his hand in hers, and said, trembling, "I do love you, you know that I love you. Oh, forgive me because I can't help my tears. I will go down with you into the wilderness, right away from the promise, if you really wish it. Even if you cannot tell me why it has to be, I will go with you, for you know I do love you, and you have the right to choose for me anything that you please."

Just like the character in this book, Much-Afraid......I feel as though God has me in a wilderness. It's painful, it's hard, there are too many tears to count, yet I'm saying to my Lord, *I LOVE YOU*..and I *WILL FOLLOW YOU*...even if this journey causes me GREAT pain...still will I follow you. For to follow you......with this great pain, is far better than to walk alone....in my own wisdom.


Just like Much-Afraid when she felt as though God brought her here, when she did not want to come for his own purpose; I may feel as though I'm NOT where I want to be. But oh THANK the Lord....I am right where God wants me to be.

God never said it would be easy to take up my cross and follow him; but he did say, he'd NEVER leave me, nor forsake me. So today, as I climb another step on this moutain that is before me, I'm praying that God gives me *Hinds Feet*...so that I can make it to the High Places.

Kim~