Confused...and I know it's not from you Father.....

Today, I'm dreaming of sitting on the North Shore of Lake Superior....praying.....and seeking God for his wisdom.

When did it happen??? When did it become so difficult??? Why all the confusion??? Why does my heart feel so conflicted??

God, you are NOT the author of confusion, but rather the author of peace.

You NEVER meant it to be this difficult.....for you are NOT difficult!!

God, reveal your perfect will to me.....to my husband.....for our family needs to hear from you!! I know we are in the *school of waiting*...yet....I want this classroom session to be over....I want to take this test...and move on!!

Yet, for some reason, we still are asked to wait.......God we need a divine encounter from you.....I know your ways are NOT our ways....so I'm asking you Lord....show up....reveal yourself....reveal your plan!!!

Help me Father....to keep my eye's focused on you...not to the right, nor to the left. Give me your Holy Boldness to have my YES...be yes....and my NO to be no. Work in my heart so that I'm about doing the Father's business...and not allow myself to get sucked into *pleasing*....and doing things out of guilt, or feeling sorry for others!!!

If my heart is grieving Father...I know yours is too!! Your gospel isn't difficult......yet at times...we seem to get in the way.

Speak to me Lord...I'm listening~

I Luv you more today......

~*~*~*~*~*Happy Anniversary Sweetheart~*~*~*~*~*

Twenty years ago today, I walked down the aisle to marry the man of my dreams. The day we were married I was so young...so naive.....not at all prepared for the journey my dh and I were about to embark on. Yet, as I look back over the past 20 years there is not one thing I'd change; for God has BLESSED my life...beyond measure....with this amazing man.

Today....as we celebrate 20 years......know that my *LOVE* for you..grows with each passing day and I look forward to growing old with you!!!

*~*~*~*~*I luv you more......I luv you most......I luv you morst*~*~*~*~*


In honor our our Anniversary, I wanted to post 20 reasons why I love my husband. Of course...I could write 100's...but here's 20!

Enjoy~

#1- His LOVE for our Savior-I can truly say that I can follow him, as he follows Christ.

#2- He has an amazing sense of humor. Very dry…..but none the less very funny.

#3- He treats me like a Princess...his most prized possession.

#4- He’s an amazing Father to our 2 children and he’s set a HIGH bar for which our children will expect much from and in their future spouses.

#5- He has a work ethic that has taught me (as well as our children) so much.

#6- He is EXTREMELY patient. When things come up on a whim, they never throw him, he goes with the flow even if it means he’s inconvenienced and often, he’s greatly inconvenienced!!

#7- He enjoys spending the day with me. He will gladly give up an entire Saturday to run me around to scrapbook stores, antique stores, craft stores, etc..and he walks along side of me patiently as I linger...and linger...and linger some more.

#8. Every morning he takes both of my hands....looks deep into my eyes and tells me how beautiful I am to him, and he expresses just how thankful he is that God has placed me in his life.

#9. He knows what my favorite things are, and often, brings home special treats for me.

#10. He values time along and away for us to focus on us, and our marriage so twice a year (once in the spring and once around our Anniversary) we sneak away for 4-5 days of just alone time.

#11. He is my BEST girlfriend…(lol)….I can hash…and rehash…and hash again…situations that concern/bother me…and he displays SO much patience…..and always listens….as he knows the best way for me to deal with things…is to get them off of my chest.

#12. He LOVES my parents..as if they were his own! There are too many times to count, when he’s given up time to visit his family so we could be with mine.

#13. He’s from the old school; there are certain things he believes woman shouldn’t do...and he's very protective of me and my time. And, I’m ok with that!!!

#14. He’s not competitive by nature (probably a good thing because I AM)…he’s easy going...YET, he’s very driven....against himself!

#15. He's very quiet.....and often I say he’s like *E.F. Hutton*…when he talks…ya all need to listen!!! (he tells me that *still water runs deep*....and he’s right!!!)

#16. He's a praying man. My husband doesn't choose prayer as the last resort, but rather the first option. There's nothing more I love than to walk into our bedroom and find my husband, on his knee's seeking the Lord!! What an example to me!

#17. Because I work full-time, my dh is extremely helpful. Daily he makes the bed, ( I can count on one hand how many times in 20 years I have made our bed!) buys groceries, helps make meals, helps clean the house. He's teaching our son..how a husband needs to be.

#18. He’s very sensitive, has a gentle spirit, and heart.

#19. He’s a great listener. When I share something with him..he really takes it to heart, and he always makes me feel that I'm the MOST import person to him....when I'm sharing something from the heart. He really listens....and understands my heart.

#20. I LOVE how he can look at me from across the room and in an instant his eye’s connect with mine, and in that moment, I know exactly what his heart is saying to mine!


Happy 20th Anniversary!!!

xoxoxo

The School of Waiting

I'm excited about the book, Hinds Feet on High Places, and the journey I believed God will be taking me on as I read through this book. I'm a firm believer that God orders my steps, and I'm ALWAYS amazed at how God leads and guides me. I believe God's desire is that I'm open...and LOOKING....so that I can see where he wants me to move.

Right now, I'm in the *school of waiting*...so to speak. What is the school of waiting you ask??? Well, for me, it is the place where I'm needing to rest 100% in God.....and well...just WAIT!!! You see, I'm needing God's direction.....his perfect plan....his perfect will. And in order for me to understand his perfect will, at this time in my life, I'm in school. Psalms 62:5 says: "Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him." (NLT) Waiting quietly for me means, just like in school, I'm doing homework....studying God's word, reading helpful books, sharing my heart with others....asking a lot of questions.....I'm listening...I'm taking tests.........I'm going through things in the depth of my soul....that only God can fully understand......the tests are frequent....and often HARD....often time's making me feel as though I'm ALL alone.....but as I pass each test...God moves me to a new level.....a deeper understanding of him....and his awesomeness.

I'm learning that out of the ashes of my life, God is creating GREAT beauty in my life. God is showing me that if he leads me too it...he will lead me through it. God has, and continues to lead me through many HARD things....yet, God is with me each step of the way...gently leading, guiding, and directing my every step.

Why is the school of waiting so hard???? I believe that often the school of waiting is hard because it's while I'm in the school of waiting.....God is wanting to reveal my TRUE heart....so that I can see the sinfulness that I hold within. Though the school of waiting be hard, God is doing a new thing.....helping me see what is TRULY important.....learning to rest in him....waiting for his direction in the steps I must take. I'm waiting, because through my waiting.....I can do nothing. By nature I'm not a patient person....and God is teaching me that this chapter in my life..is on HIS terms...NOT mine. God is teaching me that he will and can use me...regardless of what those around me may say. God is NO respector of persons, or denominations!! God is a sovereign God....who is simply looking for a willing vessel.

Why is the school of waiting so long??? I've been asking this questions for close to 10 years; but God has finally given me a glimpse into his heart as to why wait. You see...often the things I find myself desiring are just that.....MY DESIRES...when God is wanting to get at my heart issues....so that I desire the things my heavenly father desires. I'm also learning that often....other situations have to be changed.....other roads have to be opened/closed...other bridges have to be built/torn down.....in order for God's perfect will to unfold. Often the school of waiting isn't always because of me, and where I'm at; but I believe often we wait...because God is moving behind the scenes...in the lives of others.......and as the timing all comes together....I'll move out of the school of waiting, into the new direction I know God has for me, and is preparing my heart for.

God's given me promises...yet at times...it seems as though God isn't/hasn't come through. Yet, as I read Hinds Feet on High Places today.....these words jumped off the page at me:

"Much-Afraid, do you love me enough to accept the postponement and the apparent contradiction of the promise, ,and to go down there with me into the dessert? She was still crouching at his feet, sobbing as if her heart would break, but now she looked up through her tears, caught his hand in hers, and said, trembling, "I do love you, you know that I love you. Oh, forgive me because I can't help my tears. I will go down with you into the wilderness, right away from the promise, if you really wish it. Even if you cannot tell me why it has to be, I will go with you, for you know I do love you, and you have the right to choose for me anything that you please."

Just like the character in this book, Much-Afraid......I feel as though God has me in a wilderness. It's painful, it's hard, there are too many tears to count, yet I'm saying to my Lord, *I LOVE YOU*..and I *WILL FOLLOW YOU*...even if this journey causes me GREAT pain...still will I follow you. For to follow you......with this great pain, is far better than to walk alone....in my own wisdom.


Just like Much-Afraid when she felt as though God brought her here, when she did not want to come for his own purpose; I may feel as though I'm NOT where I want to be. But oh THANK the Lord....I am right where God wants me to be.

God never said it would be easy to take up my cross and follow him; but he did say, he'd NEVER leave me, nor forsake me. So today, as I climb another step on this moutain that is before me, I'm praying that God gives me *Hinds Feet*...so that I can make it to the High Places.

Kim~

~Contentment~

"Contentment is not the fulfillment
of what you want,
but the realization of
how much you already have."

The dictionary defines *Contentment* as: "happiness with one's situation in life".

As I ponder that definition, I ask myself, am I truly happy with my situation, my circumstances, my lot in life? Or, am I constantly pursuing more? Why do I often give in to my fleshly desires, when my spirit longs for deeper intimacy with Christ?

As I think about contentment, I'm reminded of the passage of scripture in I Timothy 6:6-8 which says: "But Godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that."

Through the different season's of my life...through the times of great blessing, (according to world standards) and during the time's of great loss (according to world standards) one thing has ALWAYS remained the same...and that one thing is God's LOVE and GRACE in my life. Weather I have great wealth, or great poverty, God is teaching me to be CONTENT in him...and in him alone.

God is at work in my life, even when the process is painful, and the life situation I may face are not easy! But I'm finding that in those times...in those circumstance...God is my constant.....my faithful friend......my provider.....my help in times of trouble or need.

My heart is learning that through the difficult times in my life, when I feel all along, abandonded, or rejected.....I'm ok.....why??? Because God, my Father is becoming the contentment of my heart!!!

Heart issues are very painful...but when I'm willing to take off my mask, and become open and transparent with God.....it's through that weakness....my God becomes my strength!

My prayer today....is that my heart, (and flesh) will be *Content*!!

Praying that your heart is finding Contentment.

Kim~