Welcome to Widowing Well with Hope

Hi friends,

Thank you for joining me here.  My name is Kim Berndt and I'm the founder of 'Widowing Well with Hope'. I began my blogging journey back in 2006 and over the past 17 years it has evolved from fun family content, to a soft landing space for a heart devastated as I began my journey into loss and grief.

My happily ever after began August 15, 1987 when I married my husband Tim and soon after our children (Ashley & Andrew) joined our family.  We experienced ups and downs, joys and sorrow, yet nothing prepared my heart for July 9th, 2018.

It was a beautiful sunny Monday morning. Tim and I enjoyed our morning routine of eating breakfast together as we sipped on our coffee chatting about our day.  He then prayed with me, kissed me good-bye and we each headed into our day.  Little did I know that before the day would end, my life as I knew it would change in an instant.

We were laughing, and Tim was teasing me (as he often did) as we were winding down our day.  I decided to do some reading and Tim headed into his music studio to strum a little on his guitars.  As I read, I heard a loud noise thinking something had fallen in our garage, so I ignored it.  A few minutes had passed when I realized I no longer heard Tim playing his guitar, so I casually got up to go see what the noise was.

As I entered the door of his studio, I found him on the floor unresponsive. I knew immediately that he was having a heart attack. I tried to wake him, I begged him to breathe; realizing I needed help I ran to grab my phone calling 911 as I began CPR. As I held Tim in my arms, I knew he wouldn't make it, and the next 3 days in the cardiac ICU, proved what my heart already knew.  Tim would meet Jesus.

On Thursday, July 19th, 2018 at 2:32pm our family walked Tim to Jesus.  I've said it over and over again, but there is NOTHING as sacred and holy as handing the hand of the one you LOVE most...to Jesus.  Feeling the Holy Spirit's presence so tangibly over the 3 days in the ICU, I became keenly aware that the vail between heaven and earth is so thin, and oh how I wished Jesus would have returned...to take us all with him.

Over the past 5 years I've dug deep into my grief knowing that the only way through ~ was to move through each and every painstakingly difficult piece of grief that my heart held. So may broken shattered pieces of a life once lived, holding them in my hands asking the Lord how in the world would I ever be whole again?

Each step, feeling Holy Spirits presence so near, has proven that he does rebuild beautiful in and thru our lives.  As the broken shattered piece of my life were put back together, I now look nothing like I did before death. Yet, in the process I've grown in ways I never knew I could, and the depth of LOVE I have for Jesus is inexplainable.

Widows never like to be told that they are 'strong'; however I've gained a level of strength and purpose that could have only come through the valley of the shadow of death. 

My HOPE is that as you journey with me you'll find a safe place that holds tenderly the broken pieces you carrying as we link arms walking towards JOY & HOPE.  I promise you, they are just on the other side.

#hope #joy #rebuildingbeautiful #bettertogether #beautyforashes #faith