I'm not surviving----I'm gonna make it

Filing our final joint tax return as a couple was the last pieces of paperwork I needed to process as I've navigated the final pieces of 'us'.  Let's be honest, none of us enjoy this process,😝 but for me, I had apprehension as Tim always handled our taxes. Thankfully being the organized person that he was, I found a 2018 tax folder he created with a lot of receipts and info already in it, and because of his 'planning' it made my gathering of info seamless....and I was so thankful for that gift.

When the tax packet from my accountant arrive in the mail this week I was both grateful that the process was over, yet nervous about what the content would hold and reveal.  As I opened the folder which held a lot of life, loss, joy, sadness, grief and comfort that happened in 2018 my heart wasn't prepared as my eyes were immediately drawn to the words which read......

The word "surviving" really struck a cord in my heart....realizing that word held so much wrapped up within its meaning.  To me, the word surviving sounds hopeless, hard, not easily done.  

Webster's definition surviving as:

• continuing to live or exist, especially in spite of danger or hardship
• continuing to live or exist in spite of
• remain alive after the death of
• manage to keep going in difficult circumstances

As always, I find such comfort in God's word so I headed to Psalms 4, which was penned by David. Like David, I'm not going to merely survive...I'm gonna make it because:

• HE has given me relief in my distress
• HE'S been gracious to me and HE hear my prayers
• HE has set me apart....for himself
• HE hears when I call to him
• I daily can put my trust in him
• HE puts joy in my heart
• in peace I will both lie down and sleep
• for HE, makes me dwell in safety

Just like David in his heavy grief and discontent, I can know remarkable peace and my heart can be filled with joy.  Why?  Because at my core....where I believe, trust and rest in Jesus my peace and joy are not based on my circumstances, but on my God...because he rules and reigns over everything. 

When my security is in God, and him alone I'm able to walk in joy, hope and happiness in the midst of my deepest grief just as I can when my life seems to be moving in the good, happy, joyful moments.

The word surviving sounds so hard-----so I'm choosing to grow, to press in and  thru...and not surviving....but make it.  

As I walk out this new season HE remains my anchor, my guide, and an ever present help....and, because of HIS promises...I'm going to make it....I'm going to continue to overcome....I'm going to win...and I'll continue to strive to walk in GRACE!

The words of this song have truly spoken such hope and peace....BECAUSE I'm more than going to make it...because of WHO he is...I'll WIN!!

More Than Gonna Make It

Truth is I've known my share of heartache

How deeply I have felt the crushing loss

I've stood so many times out on the edges and ledges

Wrestled with the darkest kind of thought

But even then, He was good

Even then, I understood...

I'm more than gonna make it

I'm more than gonna live

I'm more than just surviving

'Cause of who He is I win

I'm more than overcoming

Oh I wear a crown of grace

And this world can never take it

Let the hard times hear me say it

I'm more than gonna make it

I'll make it, I'll make it

From where I stand now there's no question

I've never been forsaken or alone

The God who calms the waves out on the ocean has spoken

And that's enough to keep me moving on

I'm more than gonna make it

I'm more than gonna live

I'm more than just surviving

'Cause of who He is I win

I'm more than overcoming

Oh I wear a crown of grace

And this world can never take it

Let the hard times hear me say it

I'm more than gonna make it

I'll make it, I'll make it