I've grieved, rejoiced, celebrated and mourned ALL that Jesus did during those 3 days. Parallels of those 3 days -- and what they represent have helped me to continue walking thru and processing my own grief - - the in-between - - the day Tim died, and Jesus' second coming.
As I've read and studied the word a few thoughts have stood out to me in a new, fresh profound way:
Jesus' death on Good Friday brought enormous loss, loneliness and a questioning for those who loved, served and followed him. Their hope died - - they cried - - they were broken with much despair - - they were full of worry, fear and excruciating grief in the hours that followed Jesus' death.
The past 9 months my heart has felt great loss and sorrow as I continue navigating loss. I've questioned, wondered - - even in the midst of knowing God is sovereign. Much brokenness, despair and excruciating pain and grief have been felt and experienced. Death is final - - yet in the midst of hardship - - I have a promise - - a hope - - and this hope was given freely thru Jesus' death on the cross.
Then there was the example Jesus displayed on the cross. As he hung, soon to die - -some of his final thoughts were towards his Mother Mary. She'd lost much. In the midst of his own pain and anguish - - Jesus' focus was on a widow - - his Mother - - and he provided a promise that she'd be cared for. (John 19:25-27)
When Jesus hung on that cross - - each and everyone of us were on his mind - - he gave freely of himself so we could be free. As Jesus looked into the eyes of his mother Mary - - with deep compassion -- love --concern for her as a widow - - he saw me and his promise was extended not only to Mary, but to me, and to every woman who faces the road of widowhood. His promise would be fulfilled - - he understood -- he protects - - he provides -- and cares in miraculous, powerful ways, that reveal blessings that can only come from HIM.
Then there was Mary, the Mother of Jesus. As she watched her son being crucified...she stood! She remained! She displayed enormous courage, in the face of one of the most difficult things one could experience in life - - the loss of a child. (John 19:25)
What an example Mary is to me of her STANDING in the midst of such loss with enormous COURAGE! In her grief she didn't run -- she didn't hide -- she didn't turn her back on Jesus, but she STOOD with her eyes fixed on her savior knowing this stance, would carry her thru.
My prayer has been and continues to be - - that in my darkest moments - - in the depth of my grief -- in my seeking -- in my questioning -- in my day to day people see Jesus in and thru me. I chose to stand on the promises of God's word - - which promises me that in the midst of excruciating, deep loss and pain - - he remains.
After Jesus' death he was put in the tomb and Mary Magdalene and Mary Jesus' Mother were preparing spices and ointments to anoint his body. When they had finished their preparations, it was now the Sabbath (Saturday) so they rested - - which was required by law. (Luke 24:55-56)
The in-between
- - Good Friday and Easter Sunday - -
The in-between
- - the hard, the choosing, the pressing, the waiting, the resting, all part of the process - -
Navigated my in-between finds me 'resting'. Resting has been so pivotal to my journey and my process of moving from death to my eternal promise fulfilled. Not only physically resting - - but emotionally and spiritually. For it's in my resting -- Jesus can do the hard, most important work in me. It's in my resting, Jesus is able to reveal himself and his plan to me in ways I otherwise could never know or understand. Resting requires of me to simply - - be. Not trying to figure out God's plan - - rather a deep knowing he's working on my behalf.
I'm walking out the in-between of my darkest day -- losing Tim -- and my greatest hope - - Jesus returning and taking me home to heaven for all of eternity. It's in the in-between -- grief must be processed -- life must be lived -- new dreams must be stirred -- hope for my future must be birthed -- and I must continually keeping my eye fixed on Jesus -- knowing and resting in the understanding that he goes before me, and that their is GREAT purpose in his pain.
As I reflect on Mary and Mary Magdalene - - they displayed such an amazing example -- a legacy of faith -- they endured -- they didn't give up -- and Jesus proved himself FAITHFUL -- and his faithfulness is promised to me.
The in-between at times seems grueling -- hard -- lonely -- sad -- and some days simply unbearable and unimaginable. Yet, in the midst of the hard -- Jesus stands with out stretched nail scared hands asking that I trust his plan -- even when I cannot see what his promise for my temporal future looks like. It's in the in-between -- an amazing plan will unfold for my life -- when and if I allow HIM to complete the work he's started in me.
5. Then came Sunday - Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and found the stone rolled away - - and Jesus was no longer there. Resurrection.
Rejoicing that his promise was fulfilled. Resurrection -- eternity forever. This earthly life is a short passage to my forever home -- and with each passing day, I long for eternity in a deeper -- more powerful, profound way. Death puts life into perspective - - and my view of Jesus - - heaven - - promise fulfilled has stirred much in my heart as I anticipate with great JOY the day we are reunited forever. What a promise that our greatest hope of heaven and eternity - - WILL be our reality - - one day soon!
Daily, I continue to stand at the gate -- eye's fixed towards heaven KNOWING that one day -- Jesus will split the eastern sky and return to take me home. My heart rejoices and is so THANKFUL for the promise and gift of eternity. And, while I wait - - during my in-between - - I will not give up - - I will continue to press into him - - seeking him as he leads, guides and directs my every step. Knowing that he WILL turn the ashes of my life - - into something beautiful.
To hear the song, click the link:
God of the new beginnings
God of the second chance
Your grace an endless river
Your love an avalanche
There in my darkest moment
All hope burnt to the ground
That's where Your mercy found me
That's when Your love came down
You turned my mourning into dancing
You turned my sorrow into praise
You give me beauty for ashes,
Beauty for ashes
You give me beauty for ashes,
Beauty for ashes.
Love met me in the ruins
Of all my past mistakes
Love walked me to the river
Love broke apart these chains
Love spoke a new tomorrow
Opened my eyes to see
Love washed away this sadness
Love came and rescued me
You turned my mourning into dancing
You turned my sorrow into praise
Oh You give me
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