Legacy of Faith---

I remember the details of July 10th, 2018, as if they were yesterday.  I remember exactly where I was, driving down 494 heading back to the hospital to be with Tim.  As I drove, I remember asking the Lord to PLEASE give me a sign....something that would help me know what was up ahead, and how I should navigate the days to come.

As I prayed and prayed asking God for a sign.....the song Tremble by Mosaic came on the radio.  I had never heard this song and I was immediately drawn to the message, wrapped in this amazing worship song.  The words say (you can click the link to hear the song):

Tremble

Peace, bringing it all to peace

The storm surrounding me

Let it break at Your name
Still, call the sea to still
The rage in me to still
Every wave at Your name
Jesus, Jesus, You make the darkness tremble
Jesus, Jesus, You silence fear
Jesus, Jesus, You make the darkness tremble
Jesus, Jesus
Breathe, then call these bones to live
Call these lungs to sing

As I listened to the words of this song I remember asking the Lord..."does this mean you are going to heal Tim?"  Of course, I already knew the answer...because in my heart I knew he had taken his final breathe on his own in my arms the night before.  Yet, I held out hope that maybe I was wrong?

As the song played on I immediately felt the Lord say, YES.....I will heal Tim.  BUT, not in the way you are hoping.  His lungs will sing.....but they'll do so in my presence in heaven for ALL of eternity.

In that moment, I felt such incredible peace flood my heart, soul and mind like I've never felt before.  There was a knowing that God would move, and all he would require of me was to walk by FAITH and not by sight.  I spent that entire day alone at the hospital with Tim praying, preparing my heart, seeking God for wisdom for the words that I knew I'd have to share with Ash and Andrew.  And, I drew a hard line in the sand knowing that in my darkest night...God was STILL so....so...good, and I would choose to allow this wilderness experience to do a work in and through my life, and have it be used for good.

As I continue to walk in FAITH knowing God has a perfect plan for me I'm often drawn to Hebrews 11, pouring over powerful examples of FAITHFUL hearts found in the scriptures....

It was-----

• FAITH----that Abel brought an acceptable offering to God
• FAITH----that Enoch was taken up to heaven
• FAITH----anyone who wants to come to HIM must believe that God exists 
• FAITH---that Noah built the ark
• FAITH---that Abraham obeyed
• FAITH---that Sarah was able to have a child
• FAITH---that Abraham was willing to offered Isaac as a sacrifice
• FAITH---that Isaac promised blessings for the future to his sons Jacob and Esau
• FAITH---that Joseph said confident that the people of Israel would leave Egypt
• FAITH---that the people of Israel went right through the red sea
• FAITH---that the people of Israel marched around Jericho for 7 days
• FAITH---that Rahab was not destroyed with the people in her city
• FAITH---of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel and all the prophets 

Each FAITH story listed above is such an amazing example of not giving up.  They each pressed in...continuing to seek God and his perfect plan, even though...they often didn't know or understand what God was up to. In some instances God revealed his plan quickly, in others they wandered for 40 years.  My prayer continues to be that my FAITH will NOT waver regardless of the path God takes me on...quick...or long.  For I know that it's in the journey, the process that God does his best work.

Just like the great FAITH of so many in the Bible, it took great faith for me to trust HIS plan when I knew God was telling me he was going to take Tim home.  It was in the moments, the moments in the hospital, the moments as I pass mile markers I've resolved to NOT give up.  I'm not fighting for myself...but I'm fighting to give a legacy of FAITH and HOPE to my children, grandchildren, and generations to come should the Lord teary.  I want our families legacy to be one that says, YES.....we lost much....BUT God did great things in and through each and everyone of us!!!

The greatest gift any of us can leave our families is a legacy of great FAITH, demonstrating that even in the hard, unknown seasons of our life...we will NOT be shaken, we will NOT waver, and we will NOT give up.  It's in the hard God wants to strengthen us and solidify our sense of identity so we will have the resources we need for the amazing, good plan he has for each of us, even as we walk through pain.

Hebrews 11:1-2 says, "Now faith brings our hopes into reality and becomes the foundation needed to acquire the things we long for.  It is all the evidence required to prove what is still unseen. This testimony of faith is what previous generations were commended for."

If you are weary, worn out, feeling as though you cannot take another step...seek him and spend time in his word...for it's truly medicine to and for your souls. And when you do, your weakness will turn to strength!!💗